Boundaries - What are they?

Boundaries are simply the limits, lines, or rules that we set for comfort. They are a set of physical and mental guidelines that we establish to help protect ourselves when we are around other people and when we are in relationships. Having healthy boundaries is an essential personal skill to help us thrive and communicate our needs. It is important to set limits so that others don't take advantage or manipulate us. For example, a person with solid personal boundaries will feel comfortable saying "NO" when asked to do something they are uncomfortable doing without feeling the need to apologize for it.

Everyone's boundaries are different, so once you set yours it shows others how you expect them to behave around. Understanding your boundaries is essential as they allow you to be assertive, they can protect you from being mistreated and they can also help you build meaningful relationships. Recognizing whether your boundaries are soft or rigid can help you adjust them accordingly to the right direction so that you can find the right balance for what works for you.

Types of Boundaries

EMOTIONAL

-Thoughts, values, feelings, beliefs

-How much are you willing to share

PHYSICAL

-Personal space

-Privacy

-Body

VERBAL

-How you allow others to speak to you

-What you feel is appropriate to discuss

SEXUAL

-Giving sexual consent

-Sexual touch

-Intimacy and desire

TIME

-How you manage your time

-Limits on energy given to others

MATERIAL

-Giving or lending things

-Your financials

-Monetary decisions

Now that you are more familiar of what boundaries are finding the right balance can be challenging. Do you have more rigid boundaries? Or perhaps they are more soft. or maybe they your boundaries land in between and are more healthy? Understanding your personal boundaries more is essential as they allow you more flexibility in how you react, think and feel. Being aware can help you find a balance that works for you.

Here are some examples of types of boundaries; Rigid, Soft and Healthy (a good balance between rigid and soft)

RIGID

-You don't ask for help

-You avoid close relationships

-You seem detached from others

-Your protective of yourself and of your personal information

-You keep your distance

SOFT

-You struggle to say NO

-You overshare personal information

-You may feel responsible for others happiness

-You are dependent on others opinions

HEALTHY

-You value your own opinion

-You don't compromise your own beliefs and values

-You can say NO to others and you can accept when others tell you NO

People with soft boundaries tend to find it difficult to say NO and often feel mistreated or taken advantage of by others. While people who's boundaries are more rigid tend to build walls around themselves and don't often allow people to get close to them.

Setting boundaries is a form of self-respect, it shows that you value yourself and your needs. Healthy boundaries help in forming intimate relationships while preventing passive-aggressiveness and manipulation. They are vital for self-care as they allow you to prioritize your well-being without feeling guilty. Additionally, when you know and enforce your boundaries you reduce stress by avoiding over committing to others and preserving your own energy.

Over the coming weeks I hope to explore further into the types of boundaries I have listed above. I hope to expand on ways to strengthen the boundaries we build while empowering you to think about what your boundaries are and what they mean to you.